the little things

Being a mother to Anders is the greatest thing I have ever been able to do. Every morning I wake up to this smiling, spitting, drooly baby who thinks I am the most wonderful thing that ever existed.

So let me make it clear that I am truly happy. And I've never been happier.

Sometimes though, I find it difficult to talk about being a mom. It is easy for my life to seem small right now, and filled with little tasks: changing diapers, washing baby clothes, reading picture books, singing Primary songs till my face turns blue. My pride in motherhood is not quickly exemplified when someone asks what have I been to today, or what do I do with Anders. It's easiest to talk about the little things we do together, the infamous blow-outs, the nap schedule, the rolling-over, so that's often what I do.

And maybe it's because I am living far away from home and still haven't made any friends despite earnestly trying. Maybe it's the hot heat of the summer that makes it difficult to venture out of the home. But that little voice in my head tries to persuade me that I have such a small life, it must not be very significant.

But here is why that little voice does not get to me: yes, a mother's life can seem small. You know what, maybe it IS small. Maybe it IS filled with little things like sippy cups and diaper changes and baby pajamas. And maybe it is spent largely inside the home and often in spit-up-covered yoga pants and old t-shirts.

But it is only small because her world is her baby, and her baby happens to be small. So while life is filled with little tasks, I choose to relish each one, for they are all to help and nourish this sweet slice of heaven.

And that is significant.

The phrase, "it's the little things in life that matter" has never rung more true for me than it does now. Children are little, and they are the most important thing a person could ever spend time on. The greatest thing about them? You give them an ounce of love and they surround you with a score of it. Children are the most loving and patient creatures to exist.

Woah. woah. woah. Patient? Are you kidding me? These kids can't wait five minutes to eat when they are hungry! When they are tired they want to sleep right then and there! Kids don't know anything about being patient you might say.

While they might not be patient in a waiting-to-have-a-physical-need-be-met sense, they are patient in the sense that they are so forgiving and encouraging. Some days I feel like I am not funny or sweet at all, yet there is my little boy laughing his head off at me and cooing at me anyways. He is so forgiving of me and all my incompetence as a mom, choosing to take joy in my small victories despite my large failures.

It is the little things. Those little laughs and smiles remind me how beautiful life is. Those growing hands that hold mind so tenderly remind me that today is a gift. The body that curls up on my chest won't be able to do that for long, and I make sure to treasure these small moments. The rolls on his arms and legs make me smile til my cheeks hurt. His obsession with fart sounds and spit bubbles and trying to eat the dog for dinner.

Money cannot buy a happy life. Fame or popularity or a hilarious status update does not either. Nor does excessive busy-ness for the sake of busy-ness, trendy outfits, perfect eyelashes, or kale-filled cookies. (gross.) It is these small moments with our children and family that matter. Family and love are the most abundant sources of happiness the world has to offer.

So when you ask me what am I up to and I say, "oh, changing clothes for the seventh time today," it is my small way of telling you that I am doing the biggest and most important thing I will ever do in my life. That I am helping another person to grow and develop and become someone that Christ would be pleased with.

My life is full of little things. And I love it.